"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God." Psalm 42:11

Here it is December 13 and we finally managed to put up some Christmas lights on the outside of the house. No tree to trim inside yet, but as they say in Taiwan "slow, slow, come" meaning "take it a little at a time." If last year and this year are any indication, I think that's the way we are going to get through the holidays for a while. Grief does that to us. Every holiday season, especially Christmas, brings a fresh reminder of the now incomplete family circle. Depression rears it's ugly head and threatens to steal our joy. This year I gave myself excuses for delaying the decorating, but finally I had to admit that whether consciously or subconsciously, I was avoiding it because truthfully it's painful. I busied myself last week with sewing costumes for the Christmas parade, with practicing music for Sunday's special and focusing on other things. For some strange reason I can do those things joyfully, but the thought of bringing out the Christmas ornaments and trimming a tree seems too hard. I guess there is no need to explain it or understand it. God created me with the capacity for these emotions and it's okay to just accept that certain intimate family traditions will naturally stir up the grieving heart.

As always, God's Word is an encouragement to me. In Psalm 42 I discover from the Psalmist how to deal with depression:
(1) Pour out your soul to the Lord (vs.1-4)
(2) Remember the past blessings of the Lord (vs. 5-8)
(3) Hope in the Lord (vs. 9-11)
(4) Praise the Lord (vs. 5, 11)

Tomorrow Malcom begins chemo treatment #9. He is dreading it because it makes him feel so bad, but yet he knows it is helping. There will be another CEA test done and we will know how things are progressing. All prayers gratefully accepted and appreciated!