Wednesday, August 23, 2006
A time to mourn
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
My friend, my enemy, my tormenter and healer: Time. It is that fickle thing that rushes by too fast, or crawls with excruciating slowness. In the same amount of time I might accomplish a lot or a little, depending upon my physical or emotional state. It plods or races and I must consider it's purpose. Is it possible that two months have already passed? It seems like a week; it seems like a lifetime.
Today as I made my way to the gravesite, I faced the fact that it is my time to mourn. The sense of loss and aloneness is more keen now rather than easing up as I thought it might with the passing of time. Perhaps it will, but it is too soon to expect relief. The headstone has been in place for more than a week. The sight of it adds another layer of finality and sorrow wells up from deep within my heart, finding it's way out through my tears.
Even as I mourned, the Lord brought to mind a precious promise from His Word. "For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him." (1 Thessalonians 4:15) I was comforted by these words as God knew I would be. I do believe! My mourning is one of hope as I conjure up mental images of Malcom with our daughter, Sue, whole and happy with Jesus. I long for the day when we will be reunited for a timeless eternity. On that day my mourning will be turned to joy.
My friend, my enemy, my tormenter and healer: Time. It is that fickle thing that rushes by too fast, or crawls with excruciating slowness. In the same amount of time I might accomplish a lot or a little, depending upon my physical or emotional state. It plods or races and I must consider it's purpose. Is it possible that two months have already passed? It seems like a week; it seems like a lifetime.
Today as I made my way to the gravesite, I faced the fact that it is my time to mourn. The sense of loss and aloneness is more keen now rather than easing up as I thought it might with the passing of time. Perhaps it will, but it is too soon to expect relief. The headstone has been in place for more than a week. The sight of it adds another layer of finality and sorrow wells up from deep within my heart, finding it's way out through my tears.
Even as I mourned, the Lord brought to mind a precious promise from His Word. "For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him." (1 Thessalonians 4:15) I was comforted by these words as God knew I would be. I do believe! My mourning is one of hope as I conjure up mental images of Malcom with our daughter, Sue, whole and happy with Jesus. I long for the day when we will be reunited for a timeless eternity. On that day my mourning will be turned to joy.
6 Comments:
Carol, I know anniversaries can be very hard. And you seem to have so many of this nature. My heart really goes out to you. Oh, how wonderful it would be if we could say or do something to ease your pain, but please know that I love you and that I pray for you several times a day.
CB
Carol, I too know that anniversaries can be difficult. June and August are months of anniversaries for myself as it was 32 and 34 years ago that my Father and Mother went home to be with the Lord. Your thoughts concerning the scripture found in I Thessalonians are comforting to all of us who have loved ones waiting in Heaven. Each time I visit my parent's gravesites, I not only remember scripture, but remember the song entitled, "Resurrection Ground". It simply reminds us that where our loved ones lay is resurrection ground. I love you and pray for you often.
KCC
Dear Carol,
You are deeply under the shadow of God's wings.
Your faithful,
Joseph Kuo
It is so beyond words or understanding how you can communicate so much fullness and richness and yet at the same time feel such deep loss. This seems to echo the contrasts Jesus expressed concerning the realities of the spirit-led life in a material reality ... and yet you the ability to make it fresh for us here and now.
More than this, God has continued to use you to demonstrate His matchless grace, love and committment in any circumstance or season of life. More than Chinese, you have taught me this.
Dear Carol,
"What happened could not have happened any other ways", God always has a purpose in endurance. He will use it for good if we follow the example of Christ, who, when He suffered for us.
Lovely,
Joseph Kuo
Dear Carol,
When I learned that the death of my favorite minister after I lost my favorite Christian sister(Susan), sister-in-law and see my parents-in-law strugging with a battle with cancers, I am pondering many things. One is how to comfort you, but I also seem still very sad over these deaths without words.
However, I definitely know Jesus has "the last word" rather than my words contine comforting you for each today” you are given, and for the inevitable “tomorrow” that will come.
All burdens will be reliefed compeltely while we come to Him.
Lovely,
Joseph Kuo
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