Friday, November 24, 2006
It Takes Time
“In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God.” Psalm 62:7
The emotional ups and downs in grieving are a given. It’s also a source of frustration not only to the person who grieves but to others who are trying to comfort or support in a meaningful way.
“Grieving takes time” they say. Time for what, I muse? Time in which to forget the person? No! I reject that idea since it would be impossible to forget, and besides I don’t want to forget! It is true, time is a healer. I conclude the reason lies in the fact that time allows one to process the memories, put it all into a manageable order so to speak, thus calming the fragile emotions. The more time that passes, the less chance of encountering a fresh reminder of things done, places visited, holidays celebrated. Until that is accomplished, my emotions are subject to whatever a day may bring.
This process naturally brings highs and lows. Anyone who has been reading my writings has discovered that one day I may be seemingly “fine,” courageously depending upon the Lord. On another day it seems I’ve regressed and am struggling to survive the hour. Even small reminders can knock me for a loop: the simple act of splitting a tangerine in half conjures up the image of Malcom always sharing one half with me. Suddenly I’m grieving again! This emotional roller coaster is exhausting. Private admonitions to myself to “get a grip, get over it, and get on with life” are useless. The process of grief is not like a crescendo in which you are better today, a little better tomorrow, getting better each day. No, it’s like the myriad crescendos and decrescendos of a musical piece, this one orchestrated by God and finished only when He, the composer and conductor decides.
That is why now, more than ever before, I must constantly turn to the Lord. He is my rock, my refuge, the one stable thing in my very unstable life. How precious is the thought! When I need a place to hide, a place to take shelter, regroup, and face another day, just nudge me that direction. With time, I’ll be alright.
The emotional ups and downs in grieving are a given. It’s also a source of frustration not only to the person who grieves but to others who are trying to comfort or support in a meaningful way.
“Grieving takes time” they say. Time for what, I muse? Time in which to forget the person? No! I reject that idea since it would be impossible to forget, and besides I don’t want to forget! It is true, time is a healer. I conclude the reason lies in the fact that time allows one to process the memories, put it all into a manageable order so to speak, thus calming the fragile emotions. The more time that passes, the less chance of encountering a fresh reminder of things done, places visited, holidays celebrated. Until that is accomplished, my emotions are subject to whatever a day may bring.
This process naturally brings highs and lows. Anyone who has been reading my writings has discovered that one day I may be seemingly “fine,” courageously depending upon the Lord. On another day it seems I’ve regressed and am struggling to survive the hour. Even small reminders can knock me for a loop: the simple act of splitting a tangerine in half conjures up the image of Malcom always sharing one half with me. Suddenly I’m grieving again! This emotional roller coaster is exhausting. Private admonitions to myself to “get a grip, get over it, and get on with life” are useless. The process of grief is not like a crescendo in which you are better today, a little better tomorrow, getting better each day. No, it’s like the myriad crescendos and decrescendos of a musical piece, this one orchestrated by God and finished only when He, the composer and conductor decides.
That is why now, more than ever before, I must constantly turn to the Lord. He is my rock, my refuge, the one stable thing in my very unstable life. How precious is the thought! When I need a place to hide, a place to take shelter, regroup, and face another day, just nudge me that direction. With time, I’ll be alright.
3 Comments:
He knows there will be days when all we can do is HIDE from the pain of the loss. That is why He is our refuge. Sometimes we need to be protected from ourselves. He provides the strength and security of a safe place to hide until we can venture out again and face the world and our loss. Praying for you in Venezuela!
I am reminded of the song "Day by Day"...in the first verse it says "He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, deems unto each day what He see best."....
I oft in times of turmoil, find myself refledtin on WHO my God is. and what HE gives....(ex.King of Kings, Lord over all, Almighty, ....
Grace, love, peace, comfort, unchangeable)....then, I return to the hope of my life!!
He gave us the capacity to remember and to have feelings and to be relational people---certainly He does not desire for us not to have feelings when we lose loved ones!
You are close in our prayers in Florida.
My Friend,
Although you are so far away in earthly presence, you are so close to my heart. I am riding the roller coaster with you, praying and loving you as I go.
M
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