“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven….a time to mourn.” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4

Once while traveling on furlough, we stayed in the home of a church family. They graciously put us in their daughter’s room, typical of any young adult’s quarters with some childhood keepsakes lying about. “Is the daughter gone off to college?” I wondered. The next morning chatting with our hosts, I was shocked to learn that she had passed away after a battle with cancer. This had actually occurred several years previously. At the time I could not understand why her room was still in tact just as she had left it. I judged that the parents were not dealing well with their grief and had not moved on past the tragedy that struck their family.

Now I view the scene from another perspective. Now I identify with the struggle those parents must have been going through. Faced with my own reluctance to begin sorting through my husbands belongings, I question my ability to “move on.” Why is it such a hard step to take? I want to force myself, but I simply cannot.

It seems there are never-ending layers to the levels of finality after losing a loved one. So many changes, so many “first” experiences to endure without his presence. These are things that assault the emotions on a daily basis and leave a person little energy to purposely initiate change. Some measure of sameness is comforting, even if it is just a group of shirts hanging in that side of the closet, a collection of books sitting on those shelves.

A wise daughter recently reminded me that mourning is hard work. So once again I give myself permission to delay the sorting of “things” and turn to the book of Matthew, chapter 11 verse 28 to draw strength from the words of Jesus: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”