Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Pleasing the Lord
"The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear Him, in those that hope in His mercy." Psalm 147:11
What a thought! God is pleased when He sees us honoring Him and looking to Him for mercy! As His child, I have a longing to please my Heavenly Father. I search for ways to please Him and here He has shown me yet another way.
Last night as Malcom's fever rose again during the night, I bathed him with ice cloths. When his fever broke and his clothes were drenched, I helped him change into dry things. It isn't hard to stay by his side and lovingly do these things for him. I love him. He is always so appreciative and expresses it to me. He doesn't need to thank me, but he does and it pleases me. I take pleasure in helping him.
In much the same way, I imagine the Lord--who loves us, who is faithful, merciful and full of compassion--taking pleasure in our honor and gratitude expressed to Him. He delights to show mercy. When we are weak and can do nothing, He doesn't require anything of us except to simply turn to Him in faith.
May I express my gratitude also to each one who reads this blog and lifts us up in prayer? Thank you so much.
Malcom is still in the hospital. They put a port in his upper chest. Later a CT scan was done, so we are waiting on those test results. I'm not sure when he will have the next chemo treatment. Continue to pray for the doctor's wisdom in treating him. Join us in pleasing God by looking to Him and have hope in His mercy.
What a thought! God is pleased when He sees us honoring Him and looking to Him for mercy! As His child, I have a longing to please my Heavenly Father. I search for ways to please Him and here He has shown me yet another way.
Last night as Malcom's fever rose again during the night, I bathed him with ice cloths. When his fever broke and his clothes were drenched, I helped him change into dry things. It isn't hard to stay by his side and lovingly do these things for him. I love him. He is always so appreciative and expresses it to me. He doesn't need to thank me, but he does and it pleases me. I take pleasure in helping him.
In much the same way, I imagine the Lord--who loves us, who is faithful, merciful and full of compassion--taking pleasure in our honor and gratitude expressed to Him. He delights to show mercy. When we are weak and can do nothing, He doesn't require anything of us except to simply turn to Him in faith.
May I express my gratitude also to each one who reads this blog and lifts us up in prayer? Thank you so much.
Malcom is still in the hospital. They put a port in his upper chest. Later a CT scan was done, so we are waiting on those test results. I'm not sure when he will have the next chemo treatment. Continue to pray for the doctor's wisdom in treating him. Join us in pleasing God by looking to Him and have hope in His mercy.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
"My times are in thy hand"
"But I trusted in Thee, Oh Lord: I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand..." Psalm 31:14-15
This day I see Malcom growing weaker from the infection and fever. It's frustrating to watch it happen. I feel so helpless to stop the course of things. I freely admit that I don't like such a feeling. I want to have some control over what happens. But I can no more dictate what will happen any more than I can make my own heart continue beating. The Lord, HE is God and I am not. That is the never ending lesson. In HIS time he will do the things that He has purposed. Today our nurse friend reminded me, "God has a reason for why this is happening at this time. He has a purpose." Yes, I thought, and thank you Lord for the reminder!
Well here is the plan...Lord willing of course: they removed the PICC line which seems to be the logical culprit for the continuing fever and chills. If that assumption is correct, we should see a dramatic improvement in his condition within the next 24 hours. Then Wednesday morning they will surgically implant a "port" in his right upper chest which will be the receiver for future chemo treatments.
Pray...for reduced fever and infection...for God's timing on the chemo treatment.
Our times are in HIS hand!
This day I see Malcom growing weaker from the infection and fever. It's frustrating to watch it happen. I feel so helpless to stop the course of things. I freely admit that I don't like such a feeling. I want to have some control over what happens. But I can no more dictate what will happen any more than I can make my own heart continue beating. The Lord, HE is God and I am not. That is the never ending lesson. In HIS time he will do the things that He has purposed. Today our nurse friend reminded me, "God has a reason for why this is happening at this time. He has a purpose." Yes, I thought, and thank you Lord for the reminder!
Well here is the plan...Lord willing of course: they removed the PICC line which seems to be the logical culprit for the continuing fever and chills. If that assumption is correct, we should see a dramatic improvement in his condition within the next 24 hours. Then Wednesday morning they will surgically implant a "port" in his right upper chest which will be the receiver for future chemo treatments.
Pray...for reduced fever and infection...for God's timing on the chemo treatment.
Our times are in HIS hand!
Monday, August 29, 2005
His part...Our part
"Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness." Colossians 1:11
Every time I see the word "all" in the Bible, I sit up and take notice. Here's a few of my favorites:
Jesus has ALL power, Matthew 28:19
Go into ALL the world, Matthew 28:20
Casting ALL your cares upon Him, 1Peter 5:7
The peace of God which passes ALL understanding, Philippians 4:7
I'm especially touched by Colossians 1:11, for in it I see God's part and our part. God's part is to strengthen with ALL might. He is the one with the glorious power. He is the one who must work His wonders in our lives and in Malcom's body. But we have our part, which is a response to God's part. We develop ALL patience and endurance. No one likes to develop patience (we all knows it takes trials to produce it!) No one likes to endure anything. But God says my part is to completely develop these two characteristics with joy! I cannot yet tell you how that is going to be accomplished...except to say it will be because of His might and glorious power that it will be done.
So with joy I will tell you that Malcom is again hospitalized. Praise the Lord that he is in a place with the technology and resources to deal with his health issues. He continues to have fever, so he is being given IV antibiotics while they try to locate the source.
With joy I will tell you that aside from the fever, the oncologist is pleased with Malcom's progress. He is in much better shape to start this second round of chemo than he was for the first.
With joy I once again bless the Lord for His goodness and unfailing love.
Every time I see the word "all" in the Bible, I sit up and take notice. Here's a few of my favorites:
Jesus has ALL power, Matthew 28:19
Go into ALL the world, Matthew 28:20
Casting ALL your cares upon Him, 1Peter 5:7
The peace of God which passes ALL understanding, Philippians 4:7
I'm especially touched by Colossians 1:11, for in it I see God's part and our part. God's part is to strengthen with ALL might. He is the one with the glorious power. He is the one who must work His wonders in our lives and in Malcom's body. But we have our part, which is a response to God's part. We develop ALL patience and endurance. No one likes to develop patience (we all knows it takes trials to produce it!) No one likes to endure anything. But God says my part is to completely develop these two characteristics with joy! I cannot yet tell you how that is going to be accomplished...except to say it will be because of His might and glorious power that it will be done.
So with joy I will tell you that Malcom is again hospitalized. Praise the Lord that he is in a place with the technology and resources to deal with his health issues. He continues to have fever, so he is being given IV antibiotics while they try to locate the source.
With joy I will tell you that aside from the fever, the oncologist is pleased with Malcom's progress. He is in much better shape to start this second round of chemo than he was for the first.
With joy I once again bless the Lord for His goodness and unfailing love.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Nighttime musings
"Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life." Psalm 42:8
For most of my adult life I have enjoyed the nighttime hours, in fact looked forward to it. The night coming meant I could lay down, rest from the busyness of the day, retreat from the stresses of life, hide as it were from the hussle and bussle, refresh myself for next day's challenges. So, I never really grasped the full impact of the promise in Revelation 22:5--"And there shall be no night there..."
But I'm beginning to understand. Malcom told me the other day that he dreads the night. Instead of rest and refreshing, nighttime now often brings fevers, drenching unexplainable sweats and insomnia. Such has been the last couple of nights. Last night he began to spike a fever. I spent hours bathing his head and neck with cold cloths hoping to bring down the fever. In the early hours of the morning the fever broke and we were able to rest an hour or two. By the way, I did call the doctor and he sent out an antibiotic to take. Pray that it helps and brings relief soon.
This illness surely has us on a roller coaster ride. Yesterday during the day Malcom seemed to have good energy. We enjoyed a visit with his brother and family who had driven here from Austin, Texas. We were looking forward to attending church today. Who would have thought that the night hours would thrust us back down? I thought much about that during those dark hours. I now have a new appreciation for heaven in which God tells us we won't have to dread the nights! And I praise the Lord now also, for even in the night He is there. His song is there singing to me assurances of His constant presence.
For most of my adult life I have enjoyed the nighttime hours, in fact looked forward to it. The night coming meant I could lay down, rest from the busyness of the day, retreat from the stresses of life, hide as it were from the hussle and bussle, refresh myself for next day's challenges. So, I never really grasped the full impact of the promise in Revelation 22:5--"And there shall be no night there..."
But I'm beginning to understand. Malcom told me the other day that he dreads the night. Instead of rest and refreshing, nighttime now often brings fevers, drenching unexplainable sweats and insomnia. Such has been the last couple of nights. Last night he began to spike a fever. I spent hours bathing his head and neck with cold cloths hoping to bring down the fever. In the early hours of the morning the fever broke and we were able to rest an hour or two. By the way, I did call the doctor and he sent out an antibiotic to take. Pray that it helps and brings relief soon.
This illness surely has us on a roller coaster ride. Yesterday during the day Malcom seemed to have good energy. We enjoyed a visit with his brother and family who had driven here from Austin, Texas. We were looking forward to attending church today. Who would have thought that the night hours would thrust us back down? I thought much about that during those dark hours. I now have a new appreciation for heaven in which God tells us we won't have to dread the nights! And I praise the Lord now also, for even in the night He is there. His song is there singing to me assurances of His constant presence.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Gold--God's choice
"But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10
I am gold. It's as simple as that. How do I know? The goldsmith takes up the gold to work with, puts it in the fire, processes it to it's purest form. He doesn't take up just any old piece of metal. No, he knows exactly which pieces are gold and he chooses to work with those. He knows the end result of his labors will be pure gold that can be crafted to his desires.
When God chose to take us through these firey trials, He did so knowing that He would be working with gold! This thought thrills me. In the past I've often thought that God tests me to see if I will pass the test. But no, that doesn't make sense. He already knows I will! He knows I am gold and His purposes are like that of the goldsmith--to process out the impurities so that I will come forth just exactly like He expected...as gold! I don't need to worry if I'm going to "pass the test." It's not a test. It's a purifying process that doesn't depend upon my efforts and the end result will be good. I can rest in that knowledge.
Malcom's energy climb seemes to have reached a plateau. I think that he is feeling about as "good" as he will for this time. Hopefully after the next chemo treatment the point of his rebound will be a little higher. I must praise the Lord for one particular thing, however: it has been a week since the last paracentisis was performed. Since that time, the abdominal fluid has not collected as before! He is still comfortable in that regard and able to eat.
Today the nutritional supplements we ordered arrived and he began to take them. We praise the Lord for His amazing provision of these supplements through Mannatech Inc.'s "Mannarelief" division. God's hand was so evident in this and we have complete peace that these supplements will be beneficial. Praise His name!
I am gold. It's as simple as that. How do I know? The goldsmith takes up the gold to work with, puts it in the fire, processes it to it's purest form. He doesn't take up just any old piece of metal. No, he knows exactly which pieces are gold and he chooses to work with those. He knows the end result of his labors will be pure gold that can be crafted to his desires.
When God chose to take us through these firey trials, He did so knowing that He would be working with gold! This thought thrills me. In the past I've often thought that God tests me to see if I will pass the test. But no, that doesn't make sense. He already knows I will! He knows I am gold and His purposes are like that of the goldsmith--to process out the impurities so that I will come forth just exactly like He expected...as gold! I don't need to worry if I'm going to "pass the test." It's not a test. It's a purifying process that doesn't depend upon my efforts and the end result will be good. I can rest in that knowledge.
Malcom's energy climb seemes to have reached a plateau. I think that he is feeling about as "good" as he will for this time. Hopefully after the next chemo treatment the point of his rebound will be a little higher. I must praise the Lord for one particular thing, however: it has been a week since the last paracentisis was performed. Since that time, the abdominal fluid has not collected as before! He is still comfortable in that regard and able to eat.
Today the nutritional supplements we ordered arrived and he began to take them. We praise the Lord for His amazing provision of these supplements through Mannatech Inc.'s "Mannarelief" division. God's hand was so evident in this and we have complete peace that these supplements will be beneficial. Praise His name!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Walking Partner
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand." Psalm 37:23-24
The other day I was at a department store buying some clothes for Malcom now that he has lost so much weight. In the course of my conversation with the lady helping me, she asked me if my husband knew the Lord. I was happy to tell her "yes!" and I was very pleased that she asked. She remarked then something about when facing trials it's a comfort to know the Lord and know He is there to walk with us.
I agree!
The Lord has ordered our steps. Nothing that is happening is a surprise to Him--our omniscient, omnipresent, omniopotent God! He knows the way that Malcom will take and He is upholding him with His hand.
I praise God that today Malcom continued to make progress in gaining strength. He was able to focus on reading a couple of chapters in a book, answering a few emails, and thinking about some long-term plans for our ministry. All good signs! We took a couple of short walks and he has dutifully eaten everything I've put in front of him. Again I ask that your prayers be directed toward the nights which continue to be difficult for him.
The other day I was at a department store buying some clothes for Malcom now that he has lost so much weight. In the course of my conversation with the lady helping me, she asked me if my husband knew the Lord. I was happy to tell her "yes!" and I was very pleased that she asked. She remarked then something about when facing trials it's a comfort to know the Lord and know He is there to walk with us.
I agree!
The Lord has ordered our steps. Nothing that is happening is a surprise to Him--our omniscient, omnipresent, omniopotent God! He knows the way that Malcom will take and He is upholding him with His hand.
I praise God that today Malcom continued to make progress in gaining strength. He was able to focus on reading a couple of chapters in a book, answering a few emails, and thinking about some long-term plans for our ministry. All good signs! We took a couple of short walks and he has dutifully eaten everything I've put in front of him. Again I ask that your prayers be directed toward the nights which continue to be difficult for him.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Voices
"What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee." Psalm 56:3
The first time this verse made an impact on me was 28 years ago, and it came out of the mouth of our 4 year old daughter, Amy. I had taken her with me over to the Bible college where I was going to do some extra work in one of the classrooms. On a typical school day, all rooms would be well lit, but on this day the room was dark and I had to "hunt" for the light switch. As we searched in the dark, I wanted to reassure my small child that everything was okay. (Truthfully I was a little fearful!) Her sweet reply to me was to quote this scripture! That day God began to show me the meaning of childlike faith.
Today my thoughts turned back to Psalm 56:3 again. If I'm honest with myself, I must admit that I am often afraid of this path the Lord has allowed us to walk. When I see how thin my husband has become, how weak the cancer has made his body, it causes me to fear. If I listen to that voice--the one that says to be afraid--I'm sure I will sink like Peter when Jesus beckoned him to walk upon the water. Instead I must listen to the voice that tells me "fear not, for I am with thee." (Isaiah 41:10) That is the Voice that gives me courage to meet the challenges of each day.
A song written by Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman expresses it so well:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
I'm so thankful that today I was able to listen to the voice of truth. I am encouraged by small steps of progress...Malcom has a better appetite, we took a walk, he's able to read some and do some email.
We are thankful, humbled and honored to have your prayers.
The first time this verse made an impact on me was 28 years ago, and it came out of the mouth of our 4 year old daughter, Amy. I had taken her with me over to the Bible college where I was going to do some extra work in one of the classrooms. On a typical school day, all rooms would be well lit, but on this day the room was dark and I had to "hunt" for the light switch. As we searched in the dark, I wanted to reassure my small child that everything was okay. (Truthfully I was a little fearful!) Her sweet reply to me was to quote this scripture! That day God began to show me the meaning of childlike faith.
Today my thoughts turned back to Psalm 56:3 again. If I'm honest with myself, I must admit that I am often afraid of this path the Lord has allowed us to walk. When I see how thin my husband has become, how weak the cancer has made his body, it causes me to fear. If I listen to that voice--the one that says to be afraid--I'm sure I will sink like Peter when Jesus beckoned him to walk upon the water. Instead I must listen to the voice that tells me "fear not, for I am with thee." (Isaiah 41:10) That is the Voice that gives me courage to meet the challenges of each day.
A song written by Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman expresses it so well:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
I'm so thankful that today I was able to listen to the voice of truth. I am encouraged by small steps of progress...Malcom has a better appetite, we took a walk, he's able to read some and do some email.
We are thankful, humbled and honored to have your prayers.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Counting His Benefits
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits." Psalm 103:2
Praising the Lord tonight for His blessings...
--that this morning's episode with not being able to flush the PICC line turned out to be easily solved.
--that in spite of a rough night and fatigue today, we were still able to attend the Sunday pm service.
--for a phone call from a dear friend in Taiwan.
--for text messages, emails, and blog comments that remind me we are covered in prayer.
--for a loving family.
--for some more grandchildren hugs and kisses, this time from Chas, Abby, & Spencer!
--for the Word ofGod which brings me comfort and peace.
Praising the Lord tonight for His blessings...
--that this morning's episode with not being able to flush the PICC line turned out to be easily solved.
--that in spite of a rough night and fatigue today, we were still able to attend the Sunday pm service.
--for a phone call from a dear friend in Taiwan.
--for text messages, emails, and blog comments that remind me we are covered in prayer.
--for a loving family.
--for some more grandchildren hugs and kisses, this time from Chas, Abby, & Spencer!
--for the Word ofGod which brings me comfort and peace.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
I love that smile!
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. . .a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. . ." Proverbs 17:22, 15:13
Praise the Lord, I saw some smiles today from Malcom! I love that smile, and had remarked a few days ago that I missed seeing his smile. So you may be wondering what brought on the smiles? Those little joys called grandchildren! 19-month old Kyle entertained us all day with his ever growing vocabulary and his love of balls (any kind of ball!). 4 month old Kaycia's giggles at Grandma's silly sounds brought the big smiles to Grandpa's face. Isn't God good to send us "medicine" in such cute little packages?
Although Malcom is still very fatigued and weak, today we were able to recognize small signs of improvement: no fever all day and he didn't need to take pain medications to control his pain. These are just little steps, but we praise the Lord that it's steps in the right direction.
Our prayers this night are for a good night's sleep (he didn't sleep well last night), more energy tomorrow so we can go to church, and a better appetite so that his body can take in the nutrients needed to fight the cancer.
Praise the Lord, I saw some smiles today from Malcom! I love that smile, and had remarked a few days ago that I missed seeing his smile. So you may be wondering what brought on the smiles? Those little joys called grandchildren! 19-month old Kyle entertained us all day with his ever growing vocabulary and his love of balls (any kind of ball!). 4 month old Kaycia's giggles at Grandma's silly sounds brought the big smiles to Grandpa's face. Isn't God good to send us "medicine" in such cute little packages?
Although Malcom is still very fatigued and weak, today we were able to recognize small signs of improvement: no fever all day and he didn't need to take pain medications to control his pain. These are just little steps, but we praise the Lord that it's steps in the right direction.
Our prayers this night are for a good night's sleep (he didn't sleep well last night), more energy tomorrow so we can go to church, and a better appetite so that his body can take in the nutrients needed to fight the cancer.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Getting to know Him
"That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings..." Philippians 3:10
As we were driving over to the doctor's office today, Malcom and I began to reflect on Biblical characters who had faced physical suffering and fiery trials; men like Moses, Job, Jeremiah, David, Daniel and Paul. There is a common thread...these people had awesome conversations with the Lord during their times of testing! It was in their darkest hours that they had their deepest heart-to-heart talks with God. Reflecting on this thought, I realized that the past 12+ months for me have on one hand been just about the hardest months of my life and on the other hand have caused me to run to the Lord resulting in sweet communion with Him. I am getting to know Him in a way I never could have without the trials and testings. I'm comprehending in a deeper way His love that drove Him to willingly submit to the kind of pain we desire to avoid. I'm finding comfort in the knowledge that He has "been there done that" and understands what I feel.
This has been a "good day." At the hospital they performed a paracentisis (drawing off abdominal fluid) which made Malcom much more comfortable. Malcom's sister, Janice, flew in from Texas for a short visit. We enjoyed the evening relaxing together as a family with her and with son, Andrew and family, and daughter Nancy and family. Days like today are truly a gift from God.
As we were driving over to the doctor's office today, Malcom and I began to reflect on Biblical characters who had faced physical suffering and fiery trials; men like Moses, Job, Jeremiah, David, Daniel and Paul. There is a common thread...these people had awesome conversations with the Lord during their times of testing! It was in their darkest hours that they had their deepest heart-to-heart talks with God. Reflecting on this thought, I realized that the past 12+ months for me have on one hand been just about the hardest months of my life and on the other hand have caused me to run to the Lord resulting in sweet communion with Him. I am getting to know Him in a way I never could have without the trials and testings. I'm comprehending in a deeper way His love that drove Him to willingly submit to the kind of pain we desire to avoid. I'm finding comfort in the knowledge that He has "been there done that" and understands what I feel.
This has been a "good day." At the hospital they performed a paracentisis (drawing off abdominal fluid) which made Malcom much more comfortable. Malcom's sister, Janice, flew in from Texas for a short visit. We enjoyed the evening relaxing together as a family with her and with son, Andrew and family, and daughter Nancy and family. Days like today are truly a gift from God.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Burden bearers
"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
I am in awe of something that the Lord is revealing to me, and that is the number of "burden bearers" He has brought alongside us in this trial. My heart swells with gratitude everytime I think of all the people who have found some way, whether big or small, to express their love and ease our burden. It is both humbling and encouraging, and it causes me to fall to my knees and thank God for not leaving us "alone" but showing us in a real tangible way that He is able to supply every need. If you are one of those burden bearers--and you know who you are!--I want to say thank you for fulfilling the law of Christ, that character trait of loving and giving unselfishly. What a testimony!
This day has been one of patiently waiting and hoping to see some evidence of improvement in Malcom's condition. He is very weak, but has tried to move around a bit more hoping to gain energy. The fluid accumulation in his abdomen is increasing, so tomorrow they will drain it again. He has a low-grade fever tonight. Please keep up the fervent prayers for his healing. Being home does not mean he is well, just that he is sick in a more comfortable place!
I am in awe of something that the Lord is revealing to me, and that is the number of "burden bearers" He has brought alongside us in this trial. My heart swells with gratitude everytime I think of all the people who have found some way, whether big or small, to express their love and ease our burden. It is both humbling and encouraging, and it causes me to fall to my knees and thank God for not leaving us "alone" but showing us in a real tangible way that He is able to supply every need. If you are one of those burden bearers--and you know who you are!--I want to say thank you for fulfilling the law of Christ, that character trait of loving and giving unselfishly. What a testimony!
This day has been one of patiently waiting and hoping to see some evidence of improvement in Malcom's condition. He is very weak, but has tried to move around a bit more hoping to gain energy. The fluid accumulation in his abdomen is increasing, so tomorrow they will drain it again. He has a low-grade fever tonight. Please keep up the fervent prayers for his healing. Being home does not mean he is well, just that he is sick in a more comfortable place!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Home at last
"For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy." Psalm 61:3
Praise the Lord, Malcom was released from the hospital today! We had a busy morning talking with the doctor, receiving instructions from the nurses, and packing up our things (which seemed to grow daily the longer we were there!) I was taught how to care for and flush the PICC line in his arm, then we were off! The first thing Malcom said after being home a few minutes was "It's so quiet here!" I'm sure he is going to rest better without all the beeps of IV pumps and intercom announcements etc.
And yet it's just a bit "fearful" to be away from the security of the hosptial setting. The enemy (cancer in this case) often causes us to fear. In those moments, we must remember that the Lord God himself has been and will continue to be a shelter and strong tower. He is our best defense.
Malcom's next round of chemo will be on August 29. During this interval, we hope that the drugs he has already received will begin to halt the attack of the enemy. Pray that the build up of fluid in his abdomen will decrease. I want to use this time to supply his body with good nutrition so he can gain strength and hopefully he will gain a little bit of weight. Thank you for praying for these things. All praise goes to God for His unfailing faithfulness.
Praise the Lord, Malcom was released from the hospital today! We had a busy morning talking with the doctor, receiving instructions from the nurses, and packing up our things (which seemed to grow daily the longer we were there!) I was taught how to care for and flush the PICC line in his arm, then we were off! The first thing Malcom said after being home a few minutes was "It's so quiet here!" I'm sure he is going to rest better without all the beeps of IV pumps and intercom announcements etc.
And yet it's just a bit "fearful" to be away from the security of the hosptial setting. The enemy (cancer in this case) often causes us to fear. In those moments, we must remember that the Lord God himself has been and will continue to be a shelter and strong tower. He is our best defense.
Malcom's next round of chemo will be on August 29. During this interval, we hope that the drugs he has already received will begin to halt the attack of the enemy. Pray that the build up of fluid in his abdomen will decrease. I want to use this time to supply his body with good nutrition so he can gain strength and hopefully he will gain a little bit of weight. Thank you for praying for these things. All praise goes to God for His unfailing faithfulness.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
The Goodness of God
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13
A positive outlook is needed. Good nutrition is necessary. Confidence in the doctors and treatments they prescribe is essential. But above all these things FAITH in the goodness of God is the cornerstone of our sojourn through this trial. When people ask me "How are you doing?" I often reply, "Hanging in there!" Not hanging by a thread, about to fall apart, not hanging onto a rope I've tied a knot into. No, I am hanging onto my faith in the goodness of God, no matter what.
We heard good news today...the doc actually said, "Maybe tomorrow we'll let you go home!" Still some more blood work to be done and they plan to draw more fluid off his abdomen. If all goes well, hopefully tomorrow Malcom can breathe something besides hosptial air!
Your prayers are effective. Keep up the good work!
A positive outlook is needed. Good nutrition is necessary. Confidence in the doctors and treatments they prescribe is essential. But above all these things FAITH in the goodness of God is the cornerstone of our sojourn through this trial. When people ask me "How are you doing?" I often reply, "Hanging in there!" Not hanging by a thread, about to fall apart, not hanging onto a rope I've tied a knot into. No, I am hanging onto my faith in the goodness of God, no matter what.
We heard good news today...the doc actually said, "Maybe tomorrow we'll let you go home!" Still some more blood work to be done and they plan to draw more fluid off his abdomen. If all goes well, hopefully tomorrow Malcom can breathe something besides hosptial air!
Your prayers are effective. Keep up the good work!
Monday, August 15, 2005
High Expectations
"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him." Psalm 62:5
Since the first round of chemo is finished, today our thoughts have turned to the possibility that the doctor may let Malcom leave the hospital. He said to me this morning, "I wonder what expectations I will have to meet in order to go home?" Sure enough, they are expecting him to maintain good oxygen levels while breathing room air; the oncologist wants him to get up and walk around more to strengthen his leg and back muscles; his blood sodium level needs to be at 135 (it was 133 this morning); they want to check his blood levels and make sure everything is stable--these are just some of the expectations of the doctor he must meet. The doc has high expections. But we have an expectation of our own...the HIGHEST expectation and that is in our Lord. Today we continue to look to Him and wait for His healing.
Since the first round of chemo is finished, today our thoughts have turned to the possibility that the doctor may let Malcom leave the hospital. He said to me this morning, "I wonder what expectations I will have to meet in order to go home?" Sure enough, they are expecting him to maintain good oxygen levels while breathing room air; the oncologist wants him to get up and walk around more to strengthen his leg and back muscles; his blood sodium level needs to be at 135 (it was 133 this morning); they want to check his blood levels and make sure everything is stable--these are just some of the expectations of the doctor he must meet. The doc has high expections. But we have an expectation of our own...the HIGHEST expectation and that is in our Lord. Today we continue to look to Him and wait for His healing.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
God's kind of thinking
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, Oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14
A simple prayer right out of God's word! Keeping a positive attitude is essential to healing especially for someone battling cancer. Chemotherapy makes the body weak and it is easy to give into negative thoughts. God's word reminds us that the meditation of our hearts--what we think--needs to be acceptable in His sight. It's not hard to know what God considers acceptable either. He gives a complete list of the kinds of thoughts we should have in Philippians 4:8. . . things true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy!
Please pray for Malcom, that he can focus his thoughts in a positive vein. I've had to become the positive thinking watchdog for him. Well meaning people often discourage without knowing it. It's not that we want to deny the seriousness of his condition, but we refuse to deny the power of our Awesome God!
This afternoon Malcom finished the 48 hours of this first round of chemotherapy. He is weak, but that was to be expected. His blood sodium level is up some, so keep praying that it will reach the normal level by tomorrow.
Thanks for all the encouraging comments!
A simple prayer right out of God's word! Keeping a positive attitude is essential to healing especially for someone battling cancer. Chemotherapy makes the body weak and it is easy to give into negative thoughts. God's word reminds us that the meditation of our hearts--what we think--needs to be acceptable in His sight. It's not hard to know what God considers acceptable either. He gives a complete list of the kinds of thoughts we should have in Philippians 4:8. . . things true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy!
Please pray for Malcom, that he can focus his thoughts in a positive vein. I've had to become the positive thinking watchdog for him. Well meaning people often discourage without knowing it. It's not that we want to deny the seriousness of his condition, but we refuse to deny the power of our Awesome God!
This afternoon Malcom finished the 48 hours of this first round of chemotherapy. He is weak, but that was to be expected. His blood sodium level is up some, so keep praying that it will reach the normal level by tomorrow.
Thanks for all the encouraging comments!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Our desert
"The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones. You shall be like a watered garden." Isaiah 58:11
St. John's hosptial is unique in that they have scripture verses decorating the hallways. Today this one caught my attention. Like much of the midwest, Springfield has been in a drought this summer, our yard a dry brown. Imagine my surprise as I began to think on this verse and write this post that an unusual sound drew me to the window. It's raining!! Joy! God is satisfying the drought, and this gives me hope that He will also guide continually, satisfy our "desert", and strengthen Malcom's bones. It is the Lord who brings water to the thirsty, strength to the weak.
Please pray specifically for these things today:
...that Malcom's blood sodium level will increase. He has been on fluid restriction because it is too low.
...that the side effects from the chemo will be tolerable.
...that our church family in Taiwan will be strengthened and encouraged. (Saturday night in the central US is Sunday morning in Taiwan.)
Praise the Lord for
...loving family members who help us bear the load
...loving friends who travel many miles just to bring a word of encouragement
...our loving Lord who never leaves us nor forsakes us
St. John's hosptial is unique in that they have scripture verses decorating the hallways. Today this one caught my attention. Like much of the midwest, Springfield has been in a drought this summer, our yard a dry brown. Imagine my surprise as I began to think on this verse and write this post that an unusual sound drew me to the window. It's raining!! Joy! God is satisfying the drought, and this gives me hope that He will also guide continually, satisfy our "desert", and strengthen Malcom's bones. It is the Lord who brings water to the thirsty, strength to the weak.
Please pray specifically for these things today:
...that Malcom's blood sodium level will increase. He has been on fluid restriction because it is too low.
...that the side effects from the chemo will be tolerable.
...that our church family in Taiwan will be strengthened and encouraged. (Saturday night in the central US is Sunday morning in Taiwan.)
Praise the Lord for
...loving family members who help us bear the load
...loving friends who travel many miles just to bring a word of encouragement
...our loving Lord who never leaves us nor forsakes us
Friday, August 12, 2005
Sounds like a plan!
"It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:26
Thank you for praying for Malcom last night. Today he was feeling much better with less pain and a good appetite. He walked a couple of laps around the 7D ward, he visited with some family and friends. His sense of humor is still in tact. The prayers of God's people do sustain!
This morning I told the Lord that He had to give me strength to face the days ahead so that I can encourage Malcom in the battle. I asked Him to give me a verse for this day. So in comes our petite little nurse, Kim, who hears us discussing which scripture to write on the white board today. She reminds me of a verse that talks about God's mercies being new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). That's a super scripture. "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" is one of my favorite hymns.
And right on it's heals God's plan for today jumped out from the pages: Hope...quietly wait.
Sounds like a plan! The tests are all in, we know what we are facing, the doctors have come up with their treatment. The chemotherapy began around 2 pm. It's time to remain calm. Time to hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. With this plan comes peace in the midst of the storm.
Thank you for praying for Malcom last night. Today he was feeling much better with less pain and a good appetite. He walked a couple of laps around the 7D ward, he visited with some family and friends. His sense of humor is still in tact. The prayers of God's people do sustain!
This morning I told the Lord that He had to give me strength to face the days ahead so that I can encourage Malcom in the battle. I asked Him to give me a verse for this day. So in comes our petite little nurse, Kim, who hears us discussing which scripture to write on the white board today. She reminds me of a verse that talks about God's mercies being new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). That's a super scripture. "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" is one of my favorite hymns.
And right on it's heals God's plan for today jumped out from the pages: Hope...quietly wait.
Sounds like a plan! The tests are all in, we know what we are facing, the doctors have come up with their treatment. The chemotherapy began around 2 pm. It's time to remain calm. Time to hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. With this plan comes peace in the midst of the storm.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Taking it a day at a time
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NKJV)
This verse was sent to us last evening by text message from one of our spiritual "daughters." Malcom had me write it up on the white board there in the hospital room. It's been a hard day. More test results back with more distressing news. The cancer is in the bones. Tomorrow he will begin receiving chemotherapy in hopes of putting the brakes on this malignancy. Indeed, the outward man is perishing, but our hope continues to rest in the LORD. We need strength for this day. When you pray, pray for renewing day by day as we draw upon the grace and strength of God.
This verse was sent to us last evening by text message from one of our spiritual "daughters." Malcom had me write it up on the white board there in the hospital room. It's been a hard day. More test results back with more distressing news. The cancer is in the bones. Tomorrow he will begin receiving chemotherapy in hopes of putting the brakes on this malignancy. Indeed, the outward man is perishing, but our hope continues to rest in the LORD. We need strength for this day. When you pray, pray for renewing day by day as we draw upon the grace and strength of God.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Answers and Questions
"I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope." Psalm 130:5
I've discovered that no matter how many answers you get to the questions you ask, there are always more questions...and there aren't always answers for all the questions. Yes, today we have a few more answers to the questions we were asking yesterday and for this we are thankful. But there are many more questions to follow and some for which we'll never know the answer. That kind of "merry-go-round" living could be very frustrating if it were'nt for hope. Hope brings something to hang onto when nothing makes sense. Hope in the Lord brings comfort when my head is swirling with the Q's looking for an A. Hope makes the future bearable.
The PET and CT scans brought some answers yesterday. There is evidence now of more malignancy especially in the lymph glands in the center of the chest and abdomen. The severe bloating was fluid which had accumulated because of the tumors. The doctor performed a procedure to draw the fluid out, taking out more than a gallon. Relief was immediate! It was so nice to see Malcom begin to breathe easier and he was at once hungry, not having eaten anything for about 17 hours at that point. He asked for Chinese noodles from "Chinese Chef" and enjoyed eating the first"real food" (as opposed to hospital food!) he'd had in days.
This morning when I called the ICU nurse, she said he had rested well during the night. Praise God. Today he will possibly be moved out of ICU to the oncology floor so that they can begin treatments. I'll be there by his side and there will be many questions to ask. But HOPE will be there too because our Lord is ever near.
I've discovered that no matter how many answers you get to the questions you ask, there are always more questions...and there aren't always answers for all the questions. Yes, today we have a few more answers to the questions we were asking yesterday and for this we are thankful. But there are many more questions to follow and some for which we'll never know the answer. That kind of "merry-go-round" living could be very frustrating if it were'nt for hope. Hope brings something to hang onto when nothing makes sense. Hope in the Lord brings comfort when my head is swirling with the Q's looking for an A. Hope makes the future bearable.
The PET and CT scans brought some answers yesterday. There is evidence now of more malignancy especially in the lymph glands in the center of the chest and abdomen. The severe bloating was fluid which had accumulated because of the tumors. The doctor performed a procedure to draw the fluid out, taking out more than a gallon. Relief was immediate! It was so nice to see Malcom begin to breathe easier and he was at once hungry, not having eaten anything for about 17 hours at that point. He asked for Chinese noodles from "Chinese Chef" and enjoyed eating the first"real food" (as opposed to hospital food!) he'd had in days.
This morning when I called the ICU nurse, she said he had rested well during the night. Praise God. Today he will possibly be moved out of ICU to the oncology floor so that they can begin treatments. I'll be there by his side and there will be many questions to ask. But HOPE will be there too because our Lord is ever near.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Tuesday update
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
It's Tuesday afternoon and I want to post a quick update on Malcom's condition. He did not do very well overnight. He was quite uncomfortable with the bloating abdomen, pain in his right side and shortness of breath. This morning they did the PET scan and then took him to ICU in order to monitor him better and address the acute issues. This is good news to me, because I know he is being given excellent care. Other tests and/or procedures will be done today. When I know something definitive I will post it. We are ever grateful for your prayers and continuing to look to the Lord for His sustaining grace and healing power.
It's Tuesday afternoon and I want to post a quick update on Malcom's condition. He did not do very well overnight. He was quite uncomfortable with the bloating abdomen, pain in his right side and shortness of breath. This morning they did the PET scan and then took him to ICU in order to monitor him better and address the acute issues. This is good news to me, because I know he is being given excellent care. Other tests and/or procedures will be done today. When I know something definitive I will post it. We are ever grateful for your prayers and continuing to look to the Lord for His sustaining grace and healing power.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Teamwork
"...in the multitude of counsellors there is safety ...The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."(Proverbs 11:14, James 5:16)
Up at St. John's Hospital we are getting quite a team together these days. There is the surgeon, the urologist, the oncologist, the infectious disease specialist, the cardiologist, and the vast array of nurses and nurse assistants. Each one has his part and they are working together, comparing notes, sharing test results etc. all with one goal in mind: heal Malcom! As we listen to their daily comments and suggestions, we are in awe of the "team" that the Lord is putting together for us. As I was thinking on this today, the Lord prompted me to remember that there are quite a few more on this team of ours--those who are cheering us on as it were by their prayers! While we must have confidence in the doctors and other caregivers, ultimately our faith must rest in the One who created this body and has the power to heal. That is why our prayer team is essential to the process! We have decided to start a list--everytime someone says "I'm praying for you" that name will go on the list to remind us that we are not alone and to be encouraged by the knowledge of your prayers.
Today Malcom's white blood cell count is still high (22) and he is quite bloated in the abdomen. Dehydration is a bit of a problem, so he is receiving some IV fluids. Other than that, he "looks" pretty good. Hopefully tomorrow's PET scan will bring some answers, or at least help the doctor team to form a battle plan. The scan will be done at 7:30 am.
Some have asked "how are you (Carol) doing?" Hey, don't worry about me! I'm doing fine. God gives grace and endurance far above what I ever imagined I could face. I admit sometimes I'm tempted to "whine" to God, but He is proving faithful just like He said He would.
Up at St. John's Hospital we are getting quite a team together these days. There is the surgeon, the urologist, the oncologist, the infectious disease specialist, the cardiologist, and the vast array of nurses and nurse assistants. Each one has his part and they are working together, comparing notes, sharing test results etc. all with one goal in mind: heal Malcom! As we listen to their daily comments and suggestions, we are in awe of the "team" that the Lord is putting together for us. As I was thinking on this today, the Lord prompted me to remember that there are quite a few more on this team of ours--those who are cheering us on as it were by their prayers! While we must have confidence in the doctors and other caregivers, ultimately our faith must rest in the One who created this body and has the power to heal. That is why our prayer team is essential to the process! We have decided to start a list--everytime someone says "I'm praying for you" that name will go on the list to remind us that we are not alone and to be encouraged by the knowledge of your prayers.
Today Malcom's white blood cell count is still high (22) and he is quite bloated in the abdomen. Dehydration is a bit of a problem, so he is receiving some IV fluids. Other than that, he "looks" pretty good. Hopefully tomorrow's PET scan will bring some answers, or at least help the doctor team to form a battle plan. The scan will be done at 7:30 am.
Some have asked "how are you (Carol) doing?" Hey, don't worry about me! I'm doing fine. God gives grace and endurance far above what I ever imagined I could face. I admit sometimes I'm tempted to "whine" to God, but He is proving faithful just like He said He would.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Hurry up and wait
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31
Have you ever noticed how hard waiting can be? For me it is always easier to "do" something than to "wait." Seems we are playing the waiting game this weekend, however, so when I read these words from Isaiah I can only say "Ok, Lord, I submit to Your timing on all these things!"
Malcom continues to run a low-grade fever (99--101) and his white blood cell count is still high. Most likely this is due to the large hematoma from last week's episode with the kidney. Guess what? It takes time for that to dissipate. (Wait) The PET scan has been scheduled for Tuesday, August 9th. (Wait some more)
Nights seem to be the hardest for Malcom, so please remember him in the late hours if you are awake.
Praises: Thanks to all who leave notes of encouragement. It's like having my battery recharged to read your comments. Thanks for the prayers. We are grateful to those who minister to us in this way. Praise the Lord, too, for caring and compassionate doctors and nurses who He has placed in our lives.
Have you ever noticed how hard waiting can be? For me it is always easier to "do" something than to "wait." Seems we are playing the waiting game this weekend, however, so when I read these words from Isaiah I can only say "Ok, Lord, I submit to Your timing on all these things!"
Malcom continues to run a low-grade fever (99--101) and his white blood cell count is still high. Most likely this is due to the large hematoma from last week's episode with the kidney. Guess what? It takes time for that to dissipate. (Wait) The PET scan has been scheduled for Tuesday, August 9th. (Wait some more)
Nights seem to be the hardest for Malcom, so please remember him in the late hours if you are awake.
Praises: Thanks to all who leave notes of encouragement. It's like having my battery recharged to read your comments. Thanks for the prayers. We are grateful to those who minister to us in this way. Praise the Lord, too, for caring and compassionate doctors and nurses who He has placed in our lives.
Holding God's hand
"For I, the Lord thy God, will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not: I will help thee." Isaiah 41:13
We found great comfort in this verse tonight as I was reading to Malcom. When he is in pain or perhaps just feeling the need for reassurance, I have discovered that words aren't always needed. Just to reach out and take his hand in mine says, "I'm here, I love you." So too, God is there doing the same thing and His hand is so much stronger!
There hasn't been much change in Malcom's condition today. He is still running a fever, still high white blood count (indicating infection), and the doctor has added another antibiotic. Keep praying!
We found great comfort in this verse tonight as I was reading to Malcom. When he is in pain or perhaps just feeling the need for reassurance, I have discovered that words aren't always needed. Just to reach out and take his hand in mine says, "I'm here, I love you." So too, God is there doing the same thing and His hand is so much stronger!
There hasn't been much change in Malcom's condition today. He is still running a fever, still high white blood count (indicating infection), and the doctor has added another antibiotic. Keep praying!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Hospital--home away from home away from home?
"I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." Psalm 91.2
We arrived "home" to the US on July 4th. Malcom entered the hospital on July 11th and except for 6 nights, has been there ever since. I actually referred to the hospital as home" yesterday! And then of course we miss "home" in Taiwan. The neat thing, though, is that no matter where we are we are home, because the Lord is with us. HE is our dwelling place!
Many have asked for updates on Malcom's health. This latest hospitalization was the result of a bleeding kidney. A stint was placed in the ureter to open up the blockage and things seem to be settling down. Because of fever and elevated white blood cell count, he is being treated for an infection. Pray for that issue to be resolved so that they will be able to proceed with the PET scan.
As always, thanks for your prayers!
We arrived "home" to the US on July 4th. Malcom entered the hospital on July 11th and except for 6 nights, has been there ever since. I actually referred to the hospital as home" yesterday! And then of course we miss "home" in Taiwan. The neat thing, though, is that no matter where we are we are home, because the Lord is with us. HE is our dwelling place!
Many have asked for updates on Malcom's health. This latest hospitalization was the result of a bleeding kidney. A stint was placed in the ureter to open up the blockage and things seem to be settling down. Because of fever and elevated white blood cell count, he is being treated for an infection. Pray for that issue to be resolved so that they will be able to proceed with the PET scan.
As always, thanks for your prayers!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Hello from Springfield, Missouri
As many of you know, Malcom was diagnosed with colon cancer in Taiwan. We returned to our home in Springfield, Missouri for surgery and treatment.
On July 12, Malcom had surgery to remove a tumor from his colon. He remains in hospital care while recovering from the surgery and other moderate complications.
We are using this blog to keep our friends and family updated on his progress. Occasionally, we will also post updates from our churches in Taiwan.
Thank you for keeping Malcom and I in your prayers.
On July 12, Malcom had surgery to remove a tumor from his colon. He remains in hospital care while recovering from the surgery and other moderate complications.
We are using this blog to keep our friends and family updated on his progress. Occasionally, we will also post updates from our churches in Taiwan.
Thank you for keeping Malcom and I in your prayers.